- December 3, 2016
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I’m a SAHM And Today Was Rough
Holy smokes mamas. Today was ROUGH! You know those days that within minutes of your kids waking up, you have dealt with tantrums and tears? Yeahhh…we had one today. I kept finding myself so surprised that my little lady was so upset, because there really was nothing “wrong” but everything seemed wrong at the same time. Part of my problem with this sad attitude was that I had a full day of cleaning and tidying on my list. How on earth do I get it all done?
I think for most of us, motherhood is a challenging walk on a thin line between feeling productive and also feeling like you are fulfilling your motherly duties to your kids. ESPECIALLY in this time when social media seems to be full of perfectly dressed and cleaned homes and perfectly dressed and behaved children. So, what do you do on those days when you really have FAR MORE than one mom can handle in front of you? Here is what I have found helps me a bit.
Prioritize the list
When I accepted that I wasn’t going to have the time to finish everything I wanted to, I started moving things on my list to another day. I left the two things that absolutely had to be done, and called it good. Did it stress me out to do that? Yes. Would I have done that a year ago? Nope. I would have tried to cram it all in and spent the day irritated and defeated. But, I am slowly learning that keeping realistic expectations keeps me in a healthier state of mind as a mama.
Dial in to the kiddo
With all of my motherhood experience (only 2.5 years sooo, not an expert here!) one of the most important things I have learned it this; when my child is overly upset and acting up they need me. This might not be the same for every single child, but I have confirmed with a handful of my friends and they agree. If the forecast for our day looks like tears and tantrums, I know that I need to dial in and prepare myself to do lots of loving, holding, and deep breathing for my patience.
My daughter is getting to the age where she tells me what she needs, “mom hold me,” “mom snuggle me in my bed,” “hugs and kisses please!” She is pretty good about alerting me to her needs when I am not in tune. But, that hasn’t always been the case. I remember the days when she could barely say dada and mama. I would call my mom almost in tears when days were rough and she always reminded me to give my girl the attention she so clearly needed. Works like a charm!
Don’t try to catch up
My first instinct after a lazy but extra lovey day, is to try to catch up on everything by the next day or two. GIRL, don’t do that to yourself!! Yeah, there are sometimes that you are meeting a work deadline, or have to get the house cleaned because company is coming. I get that. But, I also think that there are a lot of tasks that can be caught up on slowly and surely. My husband actually pointed this out to me!
One night I was complaining about how I never seem to have enough time in the day or week to keep the house cleaned etc. He replied without even hesitating, “it’s because you take the time to be present with our child. I would much rather you do that, than keep the house perfectly clean.” So, here I am telling you the same thing! You will never “catch up” if you never let a few things go. So, unless you plan to be insane for the rest of your life, learn to let some things go so you can LOVE on your babe as much as you want and need to!
Was the day still rough regardless of doing these things? YES, ABSOLUTELY! Crying and attitude really wear on a person. I hate that my girl has hard days sometimes, and I hate that it is so hard for me to be patient sometimes. But, learning to weed out my distractions or unnecessary tasks sure helps me to feel less like I am about to boil over into Mrs. Emotional. When your kids are already plenty emotional, you don’t want to be there too! What else do you do to help your kids on rough days? What helps you to feel fulfilled on hard days? Whenever you feel like you are fighting the battle alone, remember that there are hundreds of other moms out there fighting the same battle as you at the same time!
Alyssa lives in Utah with her ever-supportive husband, and determined yet sweet little girl. She is a work-out fanatic, big fan of vegetables, and of course soft pretzels with cheese sauce too! She finds endless joy in being a mother and watching her daughter grow and learn. Alyssa loves being able to share feelings about motherhood here with the Cubby Community, and is grateful to know there are so many other parents out there just striving to do their best each day!