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Brand New: Newborn Stage Loneliness

Brand New: Newborn Stage Loneliness

One of my besties just had her second babe and we were texting in the dead of night yesterday. I was asking her how her baby was doing breastfeeding, if her older son is getting used to his new brother, and how she's handling everything. Then she said something to me that was so heartbreaking because it is so true for so many new mamas: The nights are hard.

When you have a newborn, your entire world turns upside down for a little bit, and you lose that sense of self while you try to learn the love language of the new little life that you've got in your arms pretty much all the time.

Not only will you feel like you're missing out on pretty much everything going on in the outside world, but even within your own home it can feel isolating to be the only one that's feeding the baby, to be the only one who is able to calm the baby down when he's fussy, or to be the one to feel like she's splitting herself into 8 different people to fill the needs of everyone in the house.

It can be really lonely.

The thing to remember, mama, is that you are so not alone. I was telling my girl that I felt the same way with both of my babes, and that I am always up late if she needs someone to talk to while she's nursing late, and can come over to help with her older son whenever she needs a second.

I also think it's important to let mamas going through the newborn stage know that they're not crazy! Considering the fact that pregnancy hormones have completely left the building, and you're left reeling with low estrogen levels, little to no sleep, and tons of stress and anxiety over this new little life, it should be EXPECTED that you're going to be a little emotional.

When I had my second, I cried every time someone left something on the counter that wasn't supposed to be there. Did it make sense? NO. Did it make me cry? YES. And that's okay. For a little while, you're going to be crying as much as your newborn, and that's okay mama.

I know that it can feel lonely, to think that you're the only one who feels like they can't get in the shower because if you're not checking on your babe every three minutes, something horrible could happen. I know that it can feel like you're the only one who can't make it through a single trip to Target without bursting into tears because your milk is letting down, your baby is crying, and you have only been out for 20 minutes. Trust me mama, I know it feels lonely.

But you are not alone.

Reach out to your besties just to talk or say hi. Text your mom and get some words of encouragement (they are always full of them!). Lean over to your husband and let him know that you're feeling down and want to watch a movie. There are so many people around you to make you feel a little less isolated. You don't have to feel like you're alone in the world with a squirly baby with no one to help.

The newborn stage won't last forever, mama, but that loneliness can feel like it does. Remember that even though you might be tied to that little human and your house more than you're used to, even though your nights are full of milky shirts and a fussy baby, and even though you're not exactly sure when things will turn back to normal, you are not alone in this! XO

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