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I’m a SAHM and I Rarely Feel Qualified

I’m a SAHM and I Rarely Feel Qualified

Raising a family is no small task. Not only are we expected to keep little ones healthy and safe, but also happy and thriving as well. The more kids we add to our families, the more responsibility we place on ourselves to achieve these goals for the benefit of our children. I hope I’m not alone when I say that I often feel so very unqualified for the job title of Mom.

Power

We have so much power in the role we play as moms. Decision after decision after decision all day long. Should I wake my baby up to keep her on her new found schedule? How long do I let my toddler pout at the table before giving in and calling it quits on dinner? Picking out clothes, remembering to remind about teeth brushing, saying no approximately 845 times in a 24-hour period, choosing what to make for dinner… again, allowing one more episode of Curious George, or no Curious George at all, pushing bedtime back, moving bedtime forward. Is this song too silly to sing before bed? Can I hold off on laundry just one more day? How long until I go in and comfort before once again coming into the hallway to cry a room away from my babe in sleep training? Pass on the bath? Do I really want to deal with finger paint today?

I could go on and on. When it’s broken down like this, doesn’t it all seem a bit overwhelming? It’s a lot of work having so much power. The worst part is when a decision is made and then it comes back to bite us in the butt and we wish we could go back and change our minds. Trusting our gut and perhaps a little validation from a spouse or friend every once in a while can go a long way when it comes to managing our power. I’m 24 years old and I have two children who depend on me for just about everything. I certainly don’t always feel qualified.

Patience

I think we could all agree that one of the truest sayings out there is, “when Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” I was discussing this phenomenon with my own mom a while ago, and she shared with me her biggest question out of life. Here’s the gist of what she shared: if us moms are in charge of setting the tone for our families, and we have so much responsibility to facilitate happiness in our homes, then why in the world are we cursed with irregular hormones, which cause outbursts of impatience which creates emotional imbalance throughout the entire household?

Some instances are worse than others, but can’t we all relate? It’s a huge weight on our shoulders to maintain the happiness in our homes. Too often I feel like I let my husband and/or children down by failing to keep my emotions in check. I definitely don’t always feel qualified.

Perception

I could tell you most any Harry Potter fact, thanks to my husband I know quite a bit about the NBA, I graduated from college, I read a lot, and I put myself out in the world to have plenty of learning opportunities, but man oh man, I do not know everything. Especially when it comes to parenting. Two and a half years into this mom gig and I’m still playing by ear and guessing as I go! And from what I hear, that is not going to stop anytime soon. Trial and error was never a more constant thing in my life than it is now as a mom. The trickiest part about thinking we have everything figured out, or we’re headed in a good direction? Something always comes along to prove us wrong and the joke is on us all over again. This is especially true when multiple children are thrown in the mix. Each one comes just different enough for us to question everything we thought we had “under control.” Once again, this learning curve often leaves me feeling unqualified.

Positivity

Not feeling qualified to be an adequate mom has me down in the dumps every so often. But for as many of those moments that have me doubting myself, I have equal amounts, if not more moments, that have me feeling beyond blessed and lucky to be living the life that I am. My heart nearly explodes of love for my little babes as they play together and giggle at one another. I burst with pride every time my baby gets a compliment or when others praise my son for something he knows or has done. Nothing makes me happier than knowing my children are safe and healthy. And every so often I get a comforting feeling of “you’re doing a good job.”

For all of these wonderful times when all is right in the world and motherhood comes so naturally to me, I can’t help but feel like I hit the jackpot. Because I am certainly not qualified enough for this amazing job.

Featured Image PC: @thekaralayne
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