Lately I’ve caught myself being a little bossier than usual. Not just to my kids, but to my husband as well. Sure, I’m in charge of the daily grind around the house, but that doesn’t automatically make me in charge of everything. So in an effort to help me become less bossy, I’ve come up with a few things to help me cool my jets and be better at going with the flow.
There are a few things my husband does that drive me a little crazy. I simply don’t love the way he does them. I tend to be a perfectionist, but it doesn’t make sense to get upset about tiny microscopic things just because it isn’t done exactly the way I would’ve done it! I’m looking to be more grateful for the things that my husband does rather than try to pick apart or redo what he has helped me with.
Release the Helicopter
Similar to not correcting, is trusting and allowing things to flow fine without my assistance. This may occasionally lead to mishaps, but for the most part, I believe that letting my toddler have a little more free-reign in his activities will help us all feel like we have more space to breathe! This will also decrease the nagging coming from my mouth towards my husband because I will give him his space to handle things rather than watching his every move.
Plan B is Okay
When it comes to plans changing or things falling through, I’m basically a five-year-old child. I don’t do well with schedule changes, especially when it’s in the very near future. My newest goal is to not let this affect me so much. In doing so, I’ve had to let go of my need for control and my grumpiness when things don’t always go as originally planned. I can go with the flow more and not be so controlling, even if it’s hard for me.
Don’t Play the Martyr
One definition of a martyr: a person who pretends to suffer or who exaggerates suffering in order to get praise or sympathy. Occasionally, I’m guilty of this. Sure, some days really are pretty bad, but the amount of complaining I do other days when my husband comes home isn’t a realistic representation of the entire day as a whole. When asked how my day goes, I’m determined to respond with “good” much more often instead of starting in on all the things that went wrong while my husband was gone. It makes him feel like he has to come home and fix things rather than relax.
I’m not the oldest child in my family, nor do I have a "type A" personality. Being “bossy” hasn’t ever been a real problem for me until the last few months or so, since my second baby was born. Being a mom is hard work and sometimes it is easy to have the mindset that “my way is the best way or the only way”, but that is not true! How wonderful is it that we aren’t alone in motherhood. It takes a village, and that includes different methods and strengths from every villager. I’ve resolved to take deeper breaths, be more receptive to help, and to try harder at taking the bossiness out of my everyday life.
I’m hoping that by changing my mindset a little bit, and working on a few of these areas of control, I’ll be able to see a difference in my attitude and communication skills towards members of my family. Here’s to a new, less bossy me.