There was a lot of anticipation waiting for my second baby to enter the world. So much unknown was coming and I was just barely getting the hang of one--how was I going to tackle the task of transitioning to TWO kids? How was I supposed to divide my time between two of them? Would I love her as much as I loved my son?
The first two weeks of baby girl home were as blissful as they were stressful. It took some getting used to--I mean, the number of children I had just doubled! Twice the love, twice (more like 5 times) the diapers, twice the joy and pride, twice the fake it 'til you make it, and twice the exhaustion. I’m surrounded by some amazing people who helped bring meals, took my son for play dates, and lend a listening ear. These kind acts were incredibly helpful and made me enjoy those tricky first few days that much more.
Dékor Plus Diaper Pail
I think my two-year-old felt a bit betrayed by me and instantly attached himself to his daddy. To this day, those two have an unbreakable connection. The downside of him claiming Dad for his own was that Dad was not allowed to hold the baby! Only Mom could hold her. This made things tricky, but I was happy that he was able to come up with a solution to me being so busy with a baby by attaching himself to Dad.
The thing that saved me with my second baby was the fact that my son was still napping! For several months, the three of us napped every day at the same time and it was just as amazing as it sounds. These naps went on for almost a year, which was a fantastic trade to waking up in the middle of the night to feed the babe a few times a night. By the time my son dropped his naps, I was getting much more sleep at night and it was much more manageable to stay awake all day long!
It turns out that having two hands, two hips, and two parents is really helpful when you have TWO kids! My husband and I would often divide and conquer (we still do). And when he wasn’t around, I certainly used a hand for each child a lot. To imagine a third child ever joining our clan baffles my mind! There aren’t enough hands! Or parents! Or set of eyes!
I learned to let go of a lot of things with my oldest. Well, more like I had no choice. When you're breastfeeding and there is a baby attached to you, it doesn't take two-year-olds long to realize they can get away with a lot more mischief than before. Nursing a newborn really helped me with the idea of "picking your battles". While frustrating, I think it was good for me to let go a little, and good for my boy to gain some independence...even when many messes were being made!
The nice thing about transition periods is that they don’t last forever. I still feel like I’m occasionally transitioning in various parenting aspects, but in general, they come to an end as you become used to the new normal. Having two kids is perfectly natural to me now. It’s weird when I only have one kid around-- very nice, but weird. I’ve found a rhythm that works for us, I mostly know what to expect with the two of them, and I’m super happy and fulfilled in my new normal with two.
When it comes to loving another child... Well, it’s just like everyone says. Your heart grows and there is certainly enough love to go around. I was skeptical right up until the moment I heard her crying, but I did, indeed, love her with an incredibly overwhelming love. Differently, but just as much as my boy. I’ll talk about this different type of love another time, as I’m still trying to figure out how to transform my feelings into words.