I just went to my doctor’s today and she was saying how she feels like she just met me when I was first pregnant and now I’m on my second pregnancy and a pro! I literally laughed out loud, and she laughed a bit too loudly, as I think her comment was a little tongue in cheek. I am definitely no pro. That’s why my Pinterest and Instagram are filled with accounts of people who I would say are “pros.”
In the anticipation of tantrums from my little girl entering her toddler phase, I asked my girl friends what to do once they started. Most of them mentioned the “Ten Minute Miracle,” advocated by one of those pro accounts on Pinterest and Instagram called Big Little Feelings. Once I explain it, it may seem too simple/easy or unrevolutionary, but sometimes the simplest things make the biggest difference. (As a side note, both our couples therapist and our vet suggested a similar thing for our relationship and our dog. Go figure.)
Well my little girl’s tantrums came in full force overnight. So I started doing the ten minute miracle:
- You devote 10 minutes of undivided, intentional, one on one time to your toddler every day.
- There should be no distractions, no phones, no siblings, no pets, no correcting--only time for your little one to soak up your love for them.
- It should be done consistently every day so they can count on it and not panic when you have to go back to do the dishes.
You may be thinking I’m a SAHM--I’m with my kid all day, every day. We all know that’s different though. We could spend an hour with our spouse watching Netflix next to each other, but that isn’t real reconnecting time. Reflecting on my days with my little girl, we are “parallel playing” most of the day. I’ll be vacuuming and she’ll be coloring. Or I’m multitasking. I’m driving or grocery shopping, but still trying to sing "Wheels on the Bus" for her.
The ten minute miracle is different because that time is monotasked and intentionally set aside just for your child. And here’s the thing… It worked for me. And I know it’s worked/helped a lot of parents out there. Sure my daughter still gets upset about things or does something naughty all to get my attention, but it happens less often because she knows she’ll get my full undivided attention.
Big Little Feelings even suggests naming it something so you and your little one can look forward to that special time and to allow your child to choose what to do during that time.
It’s amazing how special I feel when someone gives me their full attention, even just for a few seconds, if I’m being first introduced to them. You all know what I mean--when you’re introduced to someone and they take the time to really shake your hand, look you in the eyes, and repeat your name back to you, maybe even ask you a question. You feel important. Can you imagine how our kids feel when they get a full ten minutes of ours?
Try it out and let us know how your week’s and day’s vibes change. For more parenting advice go to babycubby.com.
