Today was one of those days. One of those days when I was constantly rubbing that spot between my brows, because there was a headache that I could not shake. One of those baby has diaper rash, constantly wants to be held, cries for food and cries when fed, kind of whiny-crying-fussy-non-stop-noise kind of day that made me wish for a do over.
But then something happened that changed my whole outlook on the day.
During a brief respite from all the tears, my little girl was using the couch to pull herself up onto her feet. She was straightening out her chubby legs, turned her face up and smiled proudly up at me, then promptly plopped onto her bum.
And I realized she is growing faster than I have the ability to follow.
This is what I have decided should be called the parent paradox.
The bizarre fact that when you have a baby at home your days are slow. The days are long, and the nights are longer, and it feels like the time between naps is never-ending. And yet it seems like all of a sudden your baby is 10 months old and is trying to teach herself how to stand, and you're shaking your head because didn't she just roll over for the first time?
Where did the time go?! I
t is the ultimate paradox, and it made me pause during a day that I felt like could not have been worse.
It made me stop and appreciate all of the cuddles and snuggles and extra closeness, because pretty soon she'll be walking around and too fast for me to catch.
It made me a little more patient with this little sweetie that was in pain and only looking to me for comfort.
It made me work a little extra to see her smile or laugh.
I've decided that when you're a parent it is an impossible thing to love every second, though you will hear that a lot from parents who have older kids. There are some moments you just can't wait to pass, and some experiences you wish weren't yours to deal with.
And yet, when you look back you'll see that all mushed together there was so much good, that you almost don't remember all of the tired, sniffly, crazy days.
You'll just remember a day when your little girl tried to stand up for the first time and looked to you, because you're her biggest supporter.
So today I learned that life is better when you try to just make it through the rough patches, and appreciate the little bursts of beauty that happen during the day. Because when you look back, you'll remember those more than any of the frustration.
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