What is Your Core Mother Role?
These days there is so much pressure to have politically correct gender roles and breaking out of the traditional gender roles. I love that gender roles have come so far and taught the world that women are equal to men in both the home and the work place, but I also love the "old school roles" of mothers. For me, having a traditional marriage is very fulfilling (and if you don't and you are happy realize that that is all that really matters!). Even though my mom did work for many years, my parents also had a very traditional marriage of her taking on the main responsibility of raising us kids and my father working to support that all that he could. And now, my husband will be attending medical school this fall and will potentially be the main bread winner for our future - a very traditional role that I love that he is fulfilling. But, to me a traditional marriage doesn't have to mean that you are a stay at home mom and you do all the cooking, cleaning, and baby raising. I think that you can find roles where you both feel happy and equal. You just have to take the time to think about what you want to focus on most with yourself and your kids. My mother was a great role model for being the "perfect mom." She taught me how to cook, clean, and budget money (which I should have taken more tips from) - basically, she taught me how to run my family's life! I learned from her that Motherhood is a full-time job in and of itself, but that as long as you have a focus you can move forward with confidence that you are teaching your children what they need! When I was in high school I wanted to have a high demand career and rarely thought of being a mom. Fast forward 6 years and a mother is all I want to be. I have a one year old who adores me and I adore him! Being a mom is the most amazing high demand career I could have asked for - just like my mother taught me! I think all of us have an important role to play or a specific thing to focus on in our motherhood that is exactly what our children need. For me, I believe that the most important role I can play in my motherhood journey is that of a nurturer.
To nurture means "to care for and encourage the growth or development of." This means more to me now as I watch my little man grow. I have worked hard to learn the stages of a childs' development so I know what to expect and what not to. I believe all children are very different, and as mothers and parents we need to identify talents and limitations that our children have and embrace them. As a nurturer, I pay special attention (as I'm sure all of you do!) to my little man. When I see him struggling with something, I help him in ways that still push him without ruining his confidence. For my son, I think that is exactly what he needs from a mother! Someone who builds him up continually not by giving him what he wants, but by helping him to achieve his goals. But, I think that every mother and parent needs to recognize that parenting is a very difficult job that we truly cannot expect to be perfect at all of the time! There are going to be times when you mess up or get upset with your child - and that is ok, too. They'll understand. I want to add that nurturing does not just apply to my son for me, but also to my husband. I believe that being a good mother comes from being a great wife. I know that everyone has family situations that are different and everyone has their own challenges, but I know that my core role as a nurturer grows and develops from my love for my husband and showing my son what a happy and healthy relationship is. Being in an equal partnership with my husband is so amazing and fulfilling. Because of that equal partnership with my spouse, I don't need to feel the pressure that so many women feel to be a stay at home mom or a working mom. I have the best of both worlds! I work as a full-time mommy and part-time as a Cubby Mom Expert (seriously the best job). I want to also mention a "secondary" role that is an important role for me as mother -- a teacher. Not only do I want to teach my children how to read and write; but, I want to teach them how to be loving, honest, and accepting of others. I want to teach them that they can do anything they set their mind to and work hard for! I want to teach my son to be a "real man." A man with a strong work ethic and one day a father who provides for his family. I want my son to be taught to be a leader and not a follower, and to do right things even when his friends aren't. I want to teach him that there are boundaries and that there will be fair constructive discipline. With him being a "real man" I want him to be loving and gentle - I believe real men are all of those things, but they don't learn to be all of those things themselves. As mothers, we have the important duty to teach our children how love unconditionally (another important role as a mother!). Unconditional love means they don't have to earn your love. You love them exactly how they are! Does it get anymore beautiful then that? Our children are only going to learn that if we are able to demonstrate that everyday by loving them. No matter what your role is, you are enough for your family. You are everything they need and they are your children for a reason. Maybe your child needs you to be extra healthy for their little bodies to grow, or they need a little bit of tough love from time to time so they can learn to deal with the hurt the world can sometimes cause. Your children need YOU, and as long as you have a direction and focus you will be able to find a way to juggle everything. With all the things I have to do for my little family I am extremely happy without having the high demand career I wanted for so long, because I am working on making my children amazing. So remember -"just being a mom" is enough! Comment below with what you love to focus on in your mothering journey! Are you focused on nurturing or on teaching? On good healthy eating and exercise? You probably have more than one (just like me!) but the more we can talk about it the more we can help these new mothers out! With Love, Tash