When To Be Done?
When to be done? I ask myself this nagging question over and over, and I am sure many face this same inner debate: is our family complete?
I constantly wrestle with the idea of having another child, and it has consumed me lately. Should we have just one more? Would not trying for another make me selfish? Am I just baby hungry, and will it pass? My decision wavers from month to month, and it drives my husband nuts, but I just can't help it! A decision of this magnitude needs to be carefully considered.
I have a three-year-old and a one-year-old. They are absolutely the light of my life. They are my greatest accomplishments. I wouldn't trade being a mother for anything, but do I want to add another little soul to our family? I am a SAHM and finally at a point where I feel like we have a good schedule. Things are starting to feel "normal" again, and I'm not as controlled by my two little demanding humans. I tell myself that I could finally get a full night's sleep, and I'm nearly done being a human pacifier. Being pregnant has never been easy, and I love the idea of having my body back. So, despite all of the points in favor of being done, why do the smallest of things make me do a complete 180 and want to try for another child?
It doesn't take much--I'm at the grocery store and I pass a new mom with her baby; I hear the precious cry of a newborn baby--boom, my ovaries are kicked into overdrive! All the precious moments I have had with my sweet babies as newborns come rushing back to me: seeing them for the first time, their smell, the cuddles. I immediately forget about all the pain and ailments of pregnancy and all the complications of labor, and I think, "It wouldn't be that bad." I just want to hold that sweet baby and soak in all the moments I can.
My family is not the greatest help when it comes to making this decision. They all have conflicting opinions and typically make those opinions known. My husband is convinced our family is complete with two kids. He believes that if we have more children it will take away the quality one-on-one time we are able to have with our two kids. He likes to remind me of all the things we could do if we decided to be done: We could have more date nights. We would finally be able to have nice furniture (that won't be destroyed by sticky fingers). There would be no need to get a bigger car. We could travel more. All of these reasons sound oh so tempting to me right now and temporarily convince me we are indeed done, that our family is complete.
While my husband has his opinion, the rest of our family (including all of our siblings and parents) insist that we should have at least two more kids. Their children need more cousins, and our parents need more grandchildren to spoil. They come at us hard, at times even ganging up on us. Our parents claim our kids need more siblings to support one another, going as far as to say we are doing our children a disservice. Our siblings say our children should be able to boast having a sister and a brother. We will surely regret it later on in life, they say. Bottom line--we better start popping more babies out for them.
I will probably ask myself if we should have another baby a million more times. Maybe I can find a Magic 8-Ball and use that to make this life-changing decision. Whatever the case, there will be a lot of back and forth.