In my short time as a SAHM I have learned a few things.
I've learned the difference between a real cry and a fake cry when it comes to my son. I've learned that I shouldn't put my infant in a Bumbo and put it on the table. I've learned that reusable baby food pouches can make your quality of life jump up exponentially. I've learned that you should never let your kid fall asleep in the car and expect them to sleep at home too. I could probably go on for a little while longer, but the point is I have learned things about what to do and what not to do as a mama, and when it comes to my own child. But the truth of it is, with every new milestone that my son goes through, I am learning how to parent the same way that he is just...learning. As hard as it might be to believe, even as a SAHM, I do not know everything about parenting. This is my first time being a parent. And I'm trying my best to learn how to give my family a happy, healthy life. But that doesn't mean I have any clue what I'm doing. I'll admit that it is hard to get dirty looks from other mamas at a restaurant when my son refuses to stay in his high chair and is throwing the crayons at the waitress as she walks by. It's difficult for me when my son is sweetly asking for some of my "juice" (which happens to be a large coke), and I give in with raised eyebrows from other mamas at the park. I have a hard time asking for help on things like cutting down on screen time, help with language development, or even potty training, when I worry about what other mamas might think of me. The fact is there's a lot that I don't know how to do as a mama. I don't know the best way to deal with my son's tantrums that will inevitably be thrown when we leave the park. I don't know how to get my son to understand that leaving his toys on the kitchen floor could literally break my leg. I don't know how to transition my son to a toddler bed before his little sister shows up on the scene. I don't know how to get veggies into my kid...like at all. I could probably go on for days with things that I straight up do not know how to do as a mom, and some days it truly feels like I have no idea how to do anything. It's really hard for mamas to admit that they don't know what they're doing. But it shouldn't be. But for all of my SAHM, mamas at work, single mamas, or anyone in between, there is one thing that I know for sure: we don't have to have it all figured out right now. It's okay to be a mama who is still learning. It's okay to not have every answer. It's okay to have things that you're working on with your kids and with yourself. And it's even okay to admit that you need a little help from other mamas out there to get a solution. As mamas, let's cut it out with the judgy stares, or the criticizing comments when we don't know what we're doing. Why don't we, instead, turn to understanding, empathy, and loving advice when we, as mamas, are all working on learning something new. As a SAHM, I'm working on teaching my son to be a sweet, kind boy who shares and says, "thank you," and wants to ready Harry Potter one day. And as a SAHM, I'm also working on learning how to be a mama of two, how to fit in a date with my husband, and how to make sure that my son and I have many more good days than we have bad.
The truth is that every mama is learning something new, and you know what? I'm learning to be okay with that.