Over the Rainbow: Looking Forward to a New Year

Over the Rainbow: Looking Forward to a New Year

I love the beginning of a new day, a new week, a new month, and especially a new year! Each of these new beginnings gives me an opportunity for a fresh start as I review, regroup, and continue to work toward meeting my goals. It seems like I've heard a lot of people saying they don't like making New Year's resolutions lately because they prefer to set goals throughout the year. But I LOVE making New Year's resolutions!

Don't get me wrong. I also think it's really important to constantly and consistently re-evaluate your progress (or lack of progress) throughout the days and weeks of each year, but I think a new year provides an extra opportunity to examine your life and decide what you really want. To identify what you need to change so that you can become the best and happiest version of you. To determine what you need to do to actually achieve your goals. And then to immediately start taking steps toward meeting your goals. Even if your progress is slow and you have to take baby steps. I haven't been very focused on any of my goals lately. Life has been coming at me faster than I can handle, and I've had a hard time being proactive about anything. Or to even catch my breath. And then I found myself in the middle of the holidays, and I decided it would just be easier to live each day at a time and then re-evaluate and start moving forward again at the beginning of the year. Annnnnnnd now it's the beginning of the year and it's time for me to get myself back on track. I have so many things I want to do and achieve, and sometimes I have a hard time focusing and just picking a few of the most important goals. But not this year. Since our angel baby daughter was born more than two years ago, and we still have a lonely little only child in our home, I know one of my New Year's resolutions this year is to have a baby. (TMI?) For anyone who's ever struggled with infertility or losing a baby, you know this is definitely one of those things that's easier said than done! And it might end up being one of those goals I have to re-write at the top of my list next year. Just like I'm doing (again) this year. Because sometimes, it just takes longer than a year to achieve some of these BIG goals! Another one of my resolutions is to be content with where I am. And this means being happy and thankful for the healthy child I DO have, instead of dwelling on what I DON'T have. This is another one of those things that is easier said than done. And I have to admit I've allowed myself to get more than a little bit discouraged as I continue to fight for another healthy baby, all while trying to be patient and hopeful after years of infertility and loss. I also get discouraged when it seems like I hear another friend or family member announce that they're pregnant...over and over again. And while I love all of these dear people so much, and I am SO happy for them, I sometimes can't help but ask, "Why me?" Or, "When will it be my turn?" And then I give in to feelings of frustration, sadness, and...let's be honest, jealousy. And instead of fighting for what I want in a productive way, I kind of give up...at least for a while. I've been through the ups and downs of infertility and loss more than a couple times, so I've learned that I have to allow myself this time to grieve before I dry my tears and get to work. But I've also learned that eventually, I DO have to dry my tears and find a way to make progress. It definitely makes it easier when I know what "baby steps" I need to take.

This year, because I know what those baby steps should be, I'm excited for the new year and a fresh start! I've been working with my doctor, and we've had several exciting breakthroughs in our infertility journey. Because of this, I feel like it's actually within my grasp to have a baby. Even if it doesn't happen this year, it IS possible, and it might happen in the next year or so. And for now, that's enough for me!

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