Ding, ding. My phone buzzed. I checked it. It was a text from my friend who lived in a different state than me.
“I’m 2 days late, and I just threw up,” the message read.
I quickly moved my fingers to type out, “Congrats? Lol.”
“I was not trying to get pregnant,” she responded.
And, of course she wasn’t. Her baby was… well, a baby--she was ten months old. We texted more about what my friend was doing, and where she was.
“So, run to the store and get a test???” I asked her, wishing I could run to the store for her and help her in this time of extreme need.
“I need to. I just laid my baby down.” Oh, bummer… the mystery had to wait, and the suspense was killing me, and I’m sure her as well.
A bit later, I received a photo from her…of a positive pregnancy test.
“Ahhh!! Congrats! Are you freaking?”
Depending on the person, having 19 months between kids may seem way too close. Getting pregnant within less than a year of delivering another human may just seem downright insane. But, it happens. A LOT. It might be an accident; it might not.
A girl I met at church had a newborn baby, and a 14-month-old; she planned it that way. That’s right. She was actively trying to get pregnant as soon as possible. She wanted her kids really close in age.
On the other side of that spectrum, my other friend wants her babies four or five years apart. She thinks it’s crazy her friends with 2-year-old children are trying to get pregnant right now.
I land in the middle. I always wanted my kids two years apart; my siblings and I were all two years apart, so that seemed pretty perfect.
Earlier this summer, I sat in a restaurant with a few of my close friends. We hadn’t seen each other for a few months, since I moved out of state. While we were chatting, someone started asking my friend if the transition from three to four kids was harder than the transition from two to three kids.
As they continued to chat, someone started saying that it was how close they were in age versus what number of child that made the difference. It made me laugh as I thought about my twins. They’re pretty close in age--17 minutes apart to be exact. ;)
They went on to discuss the age differences between their kids, and what order they came in. And it made me think. What does the general population say is “close in age” versus an average amount of time to wait between kids?
According to health experts, you should let your body heal 18 months before getting pregnant again.
But the timing of getting pregnant isn't always in our control. And if you’re older, you may not want to wait at all since the “chances of success diminish with age.”
Baby Center does agree with health experts though, stating that it is better health-wise to wait 18-23 months. Studies have shown that there is a “significantly higher risk of prematurity and low birth weight in babies conceived within six months.”
On the other side of the coin, Baby Center explains that you may not want to wait too long though “since the analysis found that babies whose mothers had their last child more than five years ago, also had a higher risk pf premature birth and low birth weight.”
So, what’s the answer for you? How many months apart are your babies? How close in age is too close? What age difference seems perfect to you? I want to know all your thoughts!
In the meantime, no matter what your preference might be, if you have twins, they are probably closer in age than someone who has two kids close together. Ya feel me? So basically… trump card on the whole “too close in age” thing. ;)Featured Image PC: @brittanymaddux
*The “Two to Kiss, Two to Love” series is a helpful series for all you twin mamas out there! If you have a twin related question, comment below, and I’ll answer it for you!*